How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Beware of success. It can knock you into a fixed mindset.

I'm not a non-profit person. I think of myself as an entrepreneur who wants to work on global education.

the biggest ever scientific fraud

Two thousand years ago, we lived in a world of Gods and Goddesses. Today, we live in a world solely of Gods. Women in most cultures have been stripped of their spiritual power.

My kids don't watch my movies. What I want to do is go home and hug my kids, talk to them and engage with them.

Pride is a sweetmeat, to be savoured in small pieces; it makes for a poor feast.

Basically, nice guys can finish last.

Take Bach or Schubert: Their music was dedicated to God but filled and shaped their worldly lives. If you are a committed atheist, you lean back and miss all the richness of that history.

As all entrepreneurs will say, "surround yourself with good people". That is the hardest thing : finding good people.

During the past two decades, inflation has fallen to a low level in major industrial countries.