How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Just as war is the natural consequence of monopoly, peace is the natural consequence of liberty.

Unreasonable, " "unrealistic, " and "impractical" are all words used to marginalize a person or idea that fails to conform with conventionally expected standards.

All that God requires of us is an opportunity to show what He can do.

Oliver [McCall] has meant so much to my career and showed that in the heavyweight division, anything is possible.

You're either sexy or you're not. I'm very self-conscious about my physiognomy.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

From sports the greatest thing I've learned is discipline achieves goals.

If you think you have a better mousetrap or car, or shirt, or whatever, you've got to tell people.

I don't like magic - but I have been known to make guys disappear.

When I was just a little young boy, Papa said Son, you'll never get far, I'll tell you the reason if you want to know, 'cause child of mine, there isn't really very far to go.