How much of the national news that you report to the public each night consists of information you've actually gone out and dug up on your own?

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses not only his sense of humor but his value as a humorist.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If you can say it... it's obvious.

The ideal friendship is to feel as one while remaining two.

To place your name by gift or bequest in the keeping of an active educational institution is to...make a permanent contribution to the welfare of humanity.

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly. The farther you run, the more God wants you back.

Think of the purest, most all-consuming love you can imagine. Now multiply that love by an infinite amount-that is the measure of God’s love for you.

Folks trying to plan their personal fiscal '15 are at a loss. They can't do a budget because they don't know what their health insurance costs will be.

Investors feel very comfortable working in Georgia

Today we haven't the heart to expel the painters and poets from society because we refuse to admit to ourselves that there is any danger in keeping them in our midst.

Life is not theory. It is reality, with inherent duties to everything and everyone.

Now we have food networks and everything. CNN was the beginning of all of that.