How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Loving or hating the life you are living is solely all in your repeated self-talk.

I love that we can trust Barack to do what he says he's going to do, even when it's hard - especially when it's hard.

I don't think anyone sets out to malign poor people but certainly that's what we do through organizations such as the World Trade Organization, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

'T is sweet to think that where'er we rove We are sure to find something blissful and dear; And that when we 're far from the lips we love, We 've but to make love to the lips we are near.

The greater part of our misfortunes are brought on by neglecting the chances that yesterday gave us.

Time doesn't go. Time stays. We go.

The color of a person's skin had nothing to do with the content of their character.

I do remember actually learning chords to Beatles songs. I thought they were great songwriters.

I get out of the taxi and it's probably the only city which in reality looks better than on the postcards, New York.

Every moment I choose to write about is one I have deemed important enough to dwell inside of and share with others. I am holding this moment up to the light and saying, "Wow, will you look at that?"