How sweet it is!

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don't like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.

The great error of physicians has been that of attributing recovery to the operations of their poisons, while they have left out of account the healing powers of the body itself.

You have all the power you could possibly need to create a new reality - a reality of vibrant health and wellbeing.

I get ratings but I don't do interviews for those people anymore. I don't watch CNN anymore. I don't do interviews with CNN anymore because its not worth it. It's very biased against me.

People will never set their faces decidedly towards heaven, and live like pilgrims, until they really feel that they are in danger of hell.

I'm lively when I perform and I always put everything into a show, but when I get home I love lying down in front of the TV and relaxing.

Amor deliria nervosa. The deadliest of all deadly things.

The contemporary form of true greatness lies in a civilization founded upon the spirituality of work.

I'd been broken beyond repair.

God created the world, but it is the devil who keeps it going.

Believe me, you can be in the middle of a beautiful take and the next thing you know you're awash in people crossing the street. You can't even find your actors.