How was I supposed to know ‘lucked out’ means ‘I got screwed over’ in Australian?

Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, In that case, you should always be a unicorn.

I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all.

Aw, you’re nothing but heart, Mako. Nice valentine in your skull, by the way. Is that temporary or did the Tanaka-kai change their daimon to attract the Powerpuff Girls crowd?

If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I’m going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.

Faye, if you got eaten by another shark, would you please at least have the decency to say so? My time is kind of limited, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Turns out making a dramatic exit is a lot harder when you have to stand there and wait another twenty minutes for a boat to dock.

Enjoy your little run because there’s no way you get off this boat without her trying to slice your Achilles in half.

The words ‘drink me’ come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?

Oh, Alice, you haven’t even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time’s right I don’t think I’ll have to ‘try’ to have my way with you. I just WILL.

Have you thrown ‘Why is a raven like a writing desk?’ at her yet?

I never cut my neighbor's throat

Everything in Scripture is either preparation for the Gospel, presentation of the Gospel, or participation in the Gospel.

…and you smile back and try not to think about the fact that you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to say to each other.

If a man deceives me once, shame on him; if he deceives me twice, shame on me.

our greatest compatibility was in how we complemented each other's neuroses.

The truest self-respect is not to think of self.

Older teens tend to write to me and say, 'Thank you for not writing down to teenagers.'

Almost any movie, no matter how original, is borrowing from some other movies.

I believe that everyone has it in them to kill another person. In desperation, or hatred, or at least to defend themselves.

Massachusetts is the first state in America to reach full adulthood. The rest of America is still in adolescence.