How was your... eh... trip?" Artemis felt the sting of tears in his own eyes. "Um, eventful.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

I am too sick to be out of bed, too crazy to sleep, and am surrounded by horrors.

Before such a prodigious career judgement is torn between blame and admiration.

Irony is the gaiety of reflection and the joy of wisdom.

I'm always surprised by things that happen to my work.

Excuse me, I have to go. Somewhere there is a crime happening.

People in the mass media tend more and more every day to look and act like elected and appointed officials.

Modesty is the key to success

Work-life balance is one of the biggest misconceptions people have.

Rich people expect to succeed.

Most courage comes from being too tired and hungry to be afraid anymore.