How would you like to feel the way she looks?

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Do not respond to people being upset by confidently giving them advice on how to solve their problems

Don’t allow the challenges to overpower you. Choose a positive attitude and persistent endurance over defeat.

Every time I so much as blink you get an erection.

It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

The loftiest in status are those who do not know their own status, and the most virtuous of them are those who do not know their own virtue.

Flatterers look like friends, as wolves like dogs.

Never finish a negative statement; reverse it immediately, and wonders will happen in your life.

I felt a momentary urge to leap into the sea and swim free of the present.

Still loving the sport; still working on the focus.