How would you like to make money in real estate?

If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

Fool me once

If I give you a good wine, you will see how it tastes and after you ask where it comes from.

If Planned Parenthood and Human Rights Campaign were part of the establishment, that would be time for all of us to just quit having to work so hard and defend it and fight for it.

Over the years, we have lost millions of decent paying jobs. These trade agreements have forced wages down in America so the average worker in America today is working longer hours for lower wages.

Intelligence rules the world, ignorance carries the burden.

Microsoft is a big intellectual roach motel. All the big minds go in, and they don't come out.

I'm laying out my winter clothes and wishing I was gone, Going home, where the new york city winters aren't bleedin' me.

For the wise man, every day is a festival.

I think the tax cut is ridiculous but so am I.

That was the absolute worst catch phrase I've ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw.