How would you like to star in your very own commercial?""I'd rather swim in battery acid.

Put some muscle into it! Channel your inner Trent Reznor!

Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth.

The problem Creationists identify is with the word 'theory', not with the case for evolution

A monarch should be ever intent on conquest, lest his neighbours rise in arms against him.

The wages of pedantry is pain.

Today, especially, when there are so many stations for viewers to choose from, if they want news, they always come to CNN and that's where I wanted to be

Many manufacturers secretly question whether advertising really sells their product, but are vaguely afraid that their competitors might steal a march on them if they stopped.

I thought we came out with too much respect at the beginning of the game and were on our heels instead of coming out attacking the way we did the last few games without Ricky and Kevin.

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas.

I can teach idiots to squat in ten minutes.

Don't you dare try to apologize." His voice shakes. "This is not something you can bandage with a word or two and some hugging, or something.