Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Would you destroy Something perfect in order to make it beautiful?

If we must tempt to Pleasure, how do we tempt to the least amount of Pleasure? Or better yet, tempt them to its opposite? But how to tempt them to pain.

I've learned that friendship does not equate business, business does not equate friendship.

I always try to work with people who are better than me, so I can learn more.

There is in man a specific lust for cruelty which infects even his passion of pity and makes it savage.

Always as a musician you must have one thing you do well.

I still love red velvet cake.

Faith is the subject of the head. Devotion is the subject of the heart and meditation connects both.

The whole house came up and I came up with it... I was just praying to the Lord to take care of me.

When we make a mistake, it becomes front-page news. We don't need any reporter telling us how badly we played.