...Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium...

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Do you not know how bashful friendship is? Friends - comrades - do not look at each other. Friendship would be ashamed...

The by-product that is created while following the religion of the Self [Soul] is the worldly life. It is gained free of cost.

I walked forward simply because there was no going back.

He who exercises government by means of his virtue may be compared to the north polar star, which keeps its place and all the stars turn towards it.

The short span of life forbids us to spin out hope to any length. Soon will night be upon you, and the fabled Shades, and the shadowy Plutonian home.

We don't want to give a business that is not going to come through the troubled waters a loan that they can't pay back.

Descartes, the Frenchman, had little trouble knowing that he existed.

As to the idea that advertising motivates people, remember the Edsel.

Relationships are always worth restoring.

Forget the shoes, forget the mile long walk... just stop judging each other.