Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

Always speak words such that you can give in written.

Donald Trump is nuts, his party is chock full of nuts too, and that is bad news for Americans with a nut allergy.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!

I never regarded my pictures as very much to be proud of, except in this, the craft, the style.

Everyone thinks I'm a hypochondriac. It makes me sick.

Kids want to saute, to cut the pizza, to see how the ingredients come together. If you let them do the fun stuff, they'll develop skills and interests that will stay with them forever.

One hand, five homes. A lifetime in a fist.

The highest goal that man can achieve is amazement.

I've never tried to do couture, because it's a whole different beast.