Human nature fascinates me.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation.

Everyone takes surveys. Whoever makes a statement about human behavior has engaged in a survey of some sort.

Under my plan of a cap-and-trade system, electricity rates would necessarily skyrocket.

The only two things that scare me are God and the IRS.

We have all been beaten! Each one has to bear his misfortune! Resign yourself!

A work of art doesn't dare you to realize it. It germinates and gestates by itself.

Nerds are just deep, and neurotic, fans. Needy fans. We're all nerds, on one subject or another.

God said, All right, I'm gonna show you. I made you what you are. God takes care of me. I'm just the one who delivers the message.

You cannot lose games in the NFL, and still win

I have too many flaws to be perfect. But i have too many blessings to be ungrateful.