Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

If you stay away from parties, you're called a snob. If you go, you're an exhibitionist. If you don't talk, you're dumb. If you do talk, you're quarrelsome. Pardon me while I change my nail polish.

I would rather lose a good earring than be caught without make-up.

I find men terribly exciting, and any girl who says she doesn't is an anemic old maid, a streetwalker, or a saint.

How does it happen that something that makes so much sense in the moonlight doesn't make any sense at all in the sunlight?

It's said in Hollywood that you should always forgive your enemies - because you never know when you'll have to work with them.

My goal was to have one husband and seven children, but it turned out to be the other way around.

I'm so gullible. I'm so damn gullible. And I am so sick of me being gullible.

Well, I'm going up and up and up - and nobody's going to pull me down!

Where wolves live, the forest is healthy

Facts or opinions which are to pass through the hands of so many, to be misconceived by folly in one, and ignorance in another, can hardly have much truth left.

Never let people who are more unhappy than you tell you how to live your life.

Trust is a great force multiplier.

My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be.

An author never does more damage to his readers than when he hides a difficulty.

I'm a commercial artist, both in music and art.

When I’m alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall, and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call.

The fact that the games were so close was a tribute to the level of skill in the World Cup.

The lowest common denominator of the universe is both low and common.

Put your trust in me, let this love be. This is for real, let time stand still.