Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

You see, when our attitudes outdistance our abilities, even the impossible becomes possible.

About myself - no. I'm unimportant, an observer, a wandering animal.

If you have to be persuaded about something, you shouldn't do it.

Twitter has been my life's work in many senses. It started with a fascination with cities and how they work, and what's going on in them right now.

As a person, I do not like tension in squabbles; I also do not like being on tenterhooks. When I am in love, it's the same. Especially with regards to love, I want very much to protect it.

The truth is, we live in deeds, not days; in actions and thoughts and feelings, not heartbeats.

Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this. Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.

Nobly to live, or else nobly to die,Befits proud birth.

There is no such thing as an accident. What we call by that name is the effect of some cause which we do not see.