Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

Bring wings to the weak and bring grace to the strongMay all evil stumble as it flies in the worldAll the tribes comes and the mighty will crumbleWe must brave this night and have faith in love

I've tried to make choices. You don't really trust me to.

The number of natural hypothesis that can explain any given phenomena is infinite.

When couples have children in excess, let abortion be procured before sense and life have begun; what may or may not be lawfully done in these cases depends on the question of life and sensation.

Money or no money, acting is my calling.

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.

For every victory there is a price.

I did bully somebody. I was insecure.

For as long as one has no further point of reference, apart from the position of the maximum, the wavelength thus remains uncertain by an integral factor.

I have no style, because I change each time . . . each day I play differently. Today I play differently than yesterday.