Humphrey Searle writes music that sounds like the theme from 'Star Wars' played backwards through a washing machine.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance

Get my swan costume ready.

Remember, care is a dimension of love, but simply giving care does not mean we are loving.

The truth of it is that women are far more logical than men.

I think anyone that grew up in the '70s and '80s grew up with Bob Barker and Wink Martindale and I think that was just always... when you were a game show host, you were the man of the hour.

Yet there are some resting-places, / Life's untroubled interludes; / Times when neither past nor future / On the soul's deep calm intrudes.

It is amidst great perils we see brave hearts.

When I do interviews, I always go in with the attitude that something good can happen from it.

By perceiving ourselves as part of the river, we take responsibility for the river as a whole.