Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until the day before his anniversary to buy his wife a gift.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

No matter how kind you are, always expect a few imbeciles.

No one can save me except myself.

God’s work.My work.God can find someone else to do my work.But no one can do God’s work.So, my work is to PRAY that God will do His work through my work.

Hope founded upon a human being, a man-made philosophy or any institution is always misplaced... because these things are unreliable and fleeting.

Waiting for wisdom to open the cage, we forged in the fires of the innocent age.

You're not a person. We take that form. We're an essence. We're an awareness of God's. We're made up of countless, countless realities.

We love to talk about justice. It's the doing of justice that's hard...I believe it is work we are called to do

I have been blind expecting everything to stay the same.

England is an aquarium, not a nation.

I've always been interested in how we survive and how resourceful we are as Americans.