Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I'd rather teach you how to make BREAD than give you a SLICE from my BREAD.

What you don't write is often more important than what you do

Chess helps you to concentrate, improve your logic. It teaches you to play by the rules and take responsibility for your actions, how to problem solve in an uncertain environment.

The American experiment has come and gone. Whatever freedoms the people still might have as their own, are monitored and registered and taxed at virtually every turn.

Nobody wants to see sketch comedy that's the same sketch they've seen time and time again, or that's just a rehash of that thing.

It's a pretty scary time. So many emotions come up and you don't really have the wisdom to make the right choices. You can really screw yourself in adolescence.

Never underestimate the importance of self-belief to transform your own organization, to reassure nervous clients, and to change the future of our business.

Over his own dark Cealdish beard. "Nothing like your marvelous facebear.

Everybody says they want to be free. Take the train off the tracks and it’s free-but it can’t go anywhere.