I admire Laura Bush because she's the only librarian who would marry an illiterate.

You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.

'Jerry Springer' is just kind of the chubby, redneck version of throwing Christians to the lions.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

I'm a futurist. Technology is our way out of almost every problem we have. Technology can create a new sense of community.

It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.

I noticed a lot of guitar players neglected the rhythm part of rhythm guitar and decided I would try to focus in that.

I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things.

Settle back is to settle without knowing.

If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.

I was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where you can speak your mind.

All dwarfs may be bastards yet not all bastards are dwarfs.

The level of our educational development is high and serves as a strong basis for our future progress.

The first requisite of a gentleman is to be true, brave and noble, and to be therefore a rebuke and scandal to venal and vulgar souls.

Love can really screw you up before you learn to live with it.

You will stir up the hornets. [Lat., Irritabis crabones.]

Contempt is egotism in ill- humor.

I'm surprised you know that," I say quietly, " since you left halfway through my one and only fight." "It wasn't something I wanted to watch." he says. What's that supposed to mean?