I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is?

Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat.

If Satch (Paige) and I were pitching on the same team, we would clinch the pennant by July fourth and go fishing until World Series time.

Son, what kind of pitch would you like to miss?

All ballplayers want to wind up their careers with the Cubs, Giants or Yankees. They just can't help it.

It ain't bragging if you can do it.

Let the teachers learn the kids English. Ol' Diz will learn the kids baseball.

Me and Paul (Dean) will probably win forty games (they won forty-nine).

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.

I only went to the third grade because my father only went to the fourth and I didn't want to pass him.

I was blessed with a strong arm and a weak mind.

I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting.

A lot went wrong before I ended up in a great place!

It is only by participation in a rational, practice-based community that one becomes rational.

Keep winning and get to the postseason, I won 20 games and they just dumped one beer on my head. It feels good because I'm helping my team win.

I worked at a Books-a-Million in Louisville for several years.

No one should be forced to delay health care because politicians have the audacity to presume to know what is best for a woman and her family.

People essentially like local news better than network news.

People love learning new things and you need to understand they want to learn it as easy as possible.

One thing for sure is it will be written in the Icelandic language. All of my literary work is.

Life is always full of drama and challenges, but you don't have to overreact to any of it if you choose not to.