I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

Do not rush in the ride of life.

I watch worry and anxiety being pandered to through technology which is neutral.

Love, like addiction, removes all choices...

Life is like music on a scale, shifting up and down. When your life is over, your song has been written.

Then here's to the City of Boston The town of the cries and the groans Where the Cabots can't see the Kabotschniks And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.

When the heart is filled with love everything seems beautiful & delightful to us.

There was never any doubt in our minds that men and women were equal, if not more so.

Religion is not so bad, unless you believe it.

Like all virtuous people he imagines he must speak the truth.

Remember there's always a voice saying the right thing to you somewhere if you'll only listen for it.