I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's one of the reasons I went down to Second City, because you could do acting and writing.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

Poetry is the scholar's art.

The less negative people you associate yourself with……the more positive your life becomes.

On a good day I think I'm handsome, on an average day I'm average. I'm a man's man so I don't necessarily know how cute we're supposed to be.

All the time, I've felt that life is a wager and that I probably was getting more out of leading a bohemian existence as a writer than I would have if I didn't.

This is a great tool for students as the book gets right to the heart of learning how to learn and engaging your whole brain.

Do work you love and are passionate about, look outside of the world of graphic design for inspiration.

Disillusionment is not truth.

I gave my life to become the person I am right now. Was it worth it?

There are two things that men should never weary of, goodness and humility; we get none too much of them in this rough world among cold, proud people.

Only if God can say things that make you struggle will you know that you have met a real God and not a figment of your imagination.