I always have a bit of a look, a bit of a frown.

Telling me that I’m obsessed with talking about racism in America is like telling me I’m obsessed with swimming when I’m drowning.

I don't tie my shoes right. I tie them the way you would tie a gift, like a bow.

I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee.

We've never had a female President in this country, which I find stunning

For years now, people have mentioned my mustache and get disappointed that when they see me live I don't have a mustache.

Another stupid thing I believed for a long time was that pizza was supposed to be said peed-za.

I don't look like a lot of fun. I just don't.

There are a lot of times where people think I'm in things that I'm not in, because they think I'm Kumail Nanjiani.

It's always fun when you see different comics at different weights or with different hair.

I wrote a lot of poetry in the last two years of high school, all about the same girl I was in love with. That was pretty awful. Did you know that in poetry, every line does not need to rhyme?

Doing what you wanted to do was the only training, and the only preliminary, needed for doing more of what you wanted to do.

But one never does form a just idea of anybody beforehand. One takes up a notion and runs away with it.

You don't love Buck. If you did, you'd have four kids by now. Wouldn't you? Now wouldn't you? A woman like you...

Hugs can do great amounts of good - especially for children." -Diana

Happy relationships are boring. We all want them in our own life. But I don't want to watch them on TV.

An architect is given a program, budget, place, and schedule. Sometimes the end product rises to art - or at least people call it that.

...we hope to stop the transmission in six to nine months

An obstinate man does not hold opinions, but they hold him; for when he is once possessed with an error, it is, like a devil, only cast out with great difficulty.

If you are wiling to do something that might not work, you are closer to being an artist.

Now the good gods forbid That our renowned Rome, whose gratitude Towards her deserved children is enrolled In Jove's own book, like an unnatural dam Should now eat up her own!