I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Pay attention to fate.... It will always have the last word.

If you want your ship to come in you must build a dock.

If one has no compass, when one doesn't know where one stands and where one wants to go, one can deduce that one has no leadership or interest in shaping events.

The human race may well become extinct before the end of the century. Speaking as a mathematician, I should say the odds are about three to one against survival.

The corrupt establishment knows that we are a great threat to their criminal enterprise.

Worrying is the most natural and spontaneous of all human functions.

Sport can create hope, where once there was only despair. It is more powerful than governments in breaking down racial barriers.

I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.

If I didnt promote Joker, then who promoted

When one is in office one has no idea how damnable things can feel to the ordinary rank and file of the public.