I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists.

But at the same time that the experience is pulling you apart, it's also bonding you. You have this joint venture! You both made this baby. And that's the thing I still can't get over

The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.

Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland, you are what you push.

And after you've done the acting, there's a lot of places you can put your input - in the editing, in the production of it, in the rewriting of it and so on

I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just relaxed.

Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.

If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.

A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.

There was a period where our child's birth was getting really close, and we still had nothing. We were dangerously close to calling him Untitled Baby Project.

Disappointment comes from ExpectationExpectation comes from intimacyIntimacy comes from common interestAnd common interest comes from friendshipSo to nurture friendship, abandon expectation

If one has not been able to experience God by himself, one should allow himself to be guided by the experiences of others who have experienced Him

Life is a gift. We don't earn it. We don't own it. Learn to be thankful for the time that you have.

I wish I was old Hollywood.

Amazing Donald Trump, your age and IQ are the same.

People send everyone hate mail. That's the way the world works right now, I'm nothing special.

clarity need not be equivalent to / readability. How readable is the world?

Set a goal, measure it, change if you need to, keep going after the goal.

Your work is your own private megaphone to tell the world what you believe.

The terrorist threat to American troops has decreased in some ways because there's not 175,000 in a dangerous part of the world. There's only 15,000.