I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Christianity without mission is like ice cream without frozenness.

You will find as you grow older that courage is the rarest of all qualities to be found in public life.

Man needs knowledge in order to survive, and only reason can achieve it; men who reject the responsibility of thought and reason, can exist only as parasites on the thinking of others.

I used to teach at Yale, which was at one time a center of postmodernist literary theory. Derrida was there. Paul de Man was there.

When I came to America in the '60s, it was the place to be. I wonder if I'd come here today.

If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite as leisure.

Gary Oldman is impossible to steal a movie from. He's such a great actor, he's off the hook. I love him.

My life isn't much different than when I worked full time as a journalist.

I don't like to get bored and don't like to repeat myself.

I need it! I need it! It's a royal heirloom!" "Adrian?" "What are you doing here?" "Looking for you. Come on, we need to go. I'll drive you home." "No, I can't. Not until we get it. He stole it!