I always tape my Christmas show in advance. That way I can spend the season of joy and goodwill with my only sister in Florida. She’s kinda a creep but she’s got a pool.

People forget the good that zoos do. If it weren't for zoos, we would have so many species that would be extinct today.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you're ugly.

We didn’t have Facebook in my day, we had a phone book but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

You are the only author of your book that matters.

Love is a violent recreational sport. Proceed at your own risk. Helmets, armor, and steel-toe boots are required by law.

Saying, “I don’t have time for CRM.” is like saying, “I don’t have time to look at my GPS app because I am too busy trying to figure out the best way to get from here to there.

When I was pregnant. I exercised and was healthy, but it was also the first time since I was 14 that I wasn't on a diet.

The world's people all share the earnest aspiration to have peace, stability, justice and cooperation.

I'm a playwright. All I care about is the play being good.

I think one of the biggest political failures, and the biggest social failures, over the past few years has been the failure of empathy; not being able to look at the other person down the street.

Because He's near, we dont have to be anxious or feel out of control. We have peace that rises above any circumstance!

The United States spends more money on African aid than any nation on earth.

. . . to walk alone in London is the greatest rest.