I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

You cannot live with inner tranquility and peace when you hate others.

You can learn from mistakes only when you realize you made one.

They told us love was a disease. They told us it would kill us in the end.For the very first time I realize, that this, too, might also be a lie.

Nobody has ever given a reason why men should be their brother's keepers.

Disappointment and adversity can be catalysts for greatness. There's something particularly exciting about being the hunter, as opposed to the hunted. And that can make for powerful energy.

Whatever excites you, go do it. Whatever drains you, stop doing it.

But we have the players, as we have shown against good opposition this season, we're an extremely difficult side to live with at home. (on Chelsea)

Kind words and good deeds are eternal. You never know where their influence will end.

Everyone lives three versions of themselves; a public life, a private life and a secret life.

Sympathetic cracks. A term frequently used by architects and surveyors in terms of ageing houses. I know what they mean.