I always thought I was going to die before I was 60.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

Happiness is a mystery in the minds of many because they keep expecting to attain it from experiences that create pleasures.

There was something very American about this ability to dwell constantly in the realm of the improvable superlative.

Defeat is worse than death because you live with defeat.

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

Improving your process won't move you from good to great design. It'll move you from bad to average.

A research division develops marketing material for its deal makers. We have no policy position. If you have a policy position you can't possibly forecast.

Opportunity is never lost... it simply moves on to someone else if you don't seize it!

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our being.

Sometimes I don't want to talk about it. Not to anyone. No one. No one at all. I just want to think about it on my own. Because it is mine. And no one else's.

Few can remember clearly when innocence came to a sudden end, the moment at which we ask for the first time: Am I loved?