I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Change won’t happen because everyone wishes it happens. It happens only when people decide that we’ll never stop digging until we find our gold.

Your mind should be on one thing and one thing only: gaining enough power to be free to live your own purpose and not another man’s.

Learn what is true in order to do what is right.

Hope is believing in spite of the evidence, and then watching the evidence change.

The desperate usually succeed because they have nothing to lose.

Still very active And rarely seen apart You're teenage geriatrics Modern and young at heart

To write about a place, you have to live there.

You have to listen to what resonates within your own gut. You find your direction there. Your voice comes out.

Oh! Speculators on things, boast not of knowing the things that nature ordinarily brings about; but rejoice if you know the end of those things which you yourself device.

Human dignity begins to assert itself only at the point where man is distinguishable from the beast by pity for it.