I always wanted to be an outrage to public decency and a threat to women. And this is one of the few occupations where you're not only allowed that, but you're encouraged.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

Aryan said "Once an angel came in my dream and said", You will get whatever you want in your life in this world and from this world.

Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

People just wanna see someone talking about themselves constantly. I'm not interested in that.

I don't know how I want to come across looking, really. I just look how I am.

A dissenting minority feels free only when it can impose its will on the majority: what it abominates most is the dissent of the majority.

Our job is not to figure out the 'how'. The 'how' will show up out of the commitment and believe in the 'what

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

I love animals, and not only do I get to help animals in need, I learn a lot too!

We have an obligation to give something back to the community that gives so much to us.

No one can tell me what to do on my skateboard. My skateboard is my safe spot. I can learn tricks, I can have fun, I can do whatever I want on my skateboard.