I always wanted to direct movies. That's what I set out to do. When I was a little kid I just dreamed of making movies, and I went to film school [at Northwestern University].

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Christian holy duty is to know the Lord Jesus Christ.

Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.

Christ does not save us by acting a parable of divine love; he acts the parable of divine love by saving us. That is the Christian faith.

As a society, we can and should invest more money in education.

I don't regard that as a Guardian Angle. I really do think, in a sense, that we are our own Guardian Angles. But we don't listen to ourselves.

Little did I realize that my desire to add value to others would be the thing that added value to me!

When a song wants to be written, it will be written.

That's typically what writers do; we just sit around complaining most of the time. And the better things are going, the more they complain.

If, early on, you know how things are put together, then you can build. The architect is in charge of making - he is not an artist.

There is no right life in the wrong one.