I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

I've just vowed my love for you. Have you nothing to say in return?" Duncan asked."Thank you, husband.

Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.

Most of my problems have no answer or else the answer is worse than the problem.

You gain or lose power according to the choices that you make.

whatever you love, that is your weakness

I would rather believe something and suffer for it, than to slide along into success without opinions.

Well, you know, I had been a peanut farmer. I had - you know who was the first president - Democratic president I ever met? Bill Clinton.

If you're smart or rich or lucky Maybe you'll beat the laws of man But the inner laws of spirit And the outer laws of nature No man can

All the possessions in the world cannot fill an empty heart with love.

The best stock to buy is the one you already own.