I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Dare to make wishes. The fulfillment of your wishes is possible.

Inevitably, Saul's faraway heart would turn to faraway actions.

There's only so much you can do, but if somebody doesn't give you a chance there is nothing you can do.

Miles' sessions were not typical of anybody else's sessions. They were totally unique.

Los Angeles is a one-horse town. It's entirely driven by the entertainment business and that's what it is.

If I’m feeling something, I have a lot of different ways to express it, you know? I can write an article about it. I can write a screenplay about it. I can act in someone’s thing.

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.

Always get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothing puts the reader off more than a big slab of prose at the start.

In this regard, I reiterate that the prohibition against torture cannot be contravened under any circumstances.

Fear comes with imagination, it’s a penalty, it’s the price of imagination.