I am Jewish, but I love Christmas, as most Jews with any taste do, because Hanukkah is lame.

I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy.

I can tell when somebody recognizes me, and I try to avoid those people.

I have a medical condition, all right. It's called caring too much, and it's incurable. Also, I have eczema.

For some reasons, I have WWE wrestlers tweeting me all the time. Like, my biggest fans. Why they can connect with my love for Meryl Streep, I don't know.

If you really think you have something good, you can't take no for an answer. You've got to get in there and ignore the people who say no.

My father and I were really like a team. I mean, he was very supportive. He'd come to every single one of my live shows.

I've had a lot of arguments with people, but it's never really gotten physical.

I'm not a big reality show fan, because I just think it's too fake.

Hotmail just picked up 12 new episodes of 'Judging Amy'.

Difficult People? I don't really know. I don't have those metrics.

Science explained people, but could not understand them.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

When it comes to renewable energy, there's no reason America should settle for second best.

As an educator, I think educators should meet the people wherever they are. Don't even ask them to come half-way. Find them where they are, and sit on a couch with them.

Let's be honest, the fact that Michael [Gove] announced very late in the process this morning that he was going to put his name forward, showed how much he had wrestled with this.

Such is the state of life, that none are happy but by the anticipation of change: the change itself is nothing; when we have made it, the next wish is to change again.

Hearts can never be stolen, Cy. They can only be given.” – Ren

I really can't complain about anything. I'm living a childhood dream and I have a perfect family. There's really nothing that I'm disappointed with.

In the sermon I have just preached, whenever I said Aristotle, I meant St. Paul.