I am a ceiling fan, especially during rain.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Tatsuya: What you have "right now" won't necessarily continue on until forever...Hiro: ... Yeah, I know.

As the NFF Historian, I'll have a new platform to indulge my passion for the most emotional, colorful and hysterical game ever developed by mankind and Walter Camp.

I believe in justice, maybe not in this life, but there has to be justice. And if there isn't a God, I think it would be very depressing. I'd prefer to believe there is.

The days grow shorter, the nights grow longer, The headstones thicken along the way; And life grows sadder, but love grows stronger For those who walk with us day by day.

In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.

The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.

Getting things accomplished isn't nearly as important as taking time for love.

Men resort to talking only when they haven't the power to enforce their convictions upon others.

People exist for one another.

Sometimes fate brings two people together by causing one to misinterpret a smile.