I am a daylight atheist.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

They took away our land, our language, and our religion; but they could never harness our tongues.

The terrorist is the one with the small bomb.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

Loss of hope is root of distress.

Optimal nutrition is eating the right things, in the right amounts, at the right time.

Once you taste a little of the sweetness that life can be, there really is no going back.

A Torontonian is a man who leaves culture to his wife.

When I was a teenager, I began to settle into school because I'd discovered the extracurricular activities that interested me: music and theater.

Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.

Whatever lies beyond the limits of experience, and claims another origin than that of induction and deduction from established data, is illegitimate.

American art in general... takes to surreal exaggerations and metaphors; but its Puritan work ethic has little use for the playful self-indulgence behind Parisian Surrealism.

Leave three Englishmen in a room and they will invent a rule that prevents a fourth joining them.

I will always write myself a part. It will never be number one or two on the call sheet, but it will be number five through ten. That way they won't kick you off after you sell it.