I am a fascist, not a racist.

The man who comes to take care of my piranhas told me that if I left West Ham he would kill all my fish.

I'm very happy to have moved to West Ham, because I can play for a better team than Sheffield Wednesday.

Robot Wars is not a sport. Guys just play with remote controls. Now, if they were wired up and got an electrical shock each time their robot got hammered, then, yes, it would be a sport.

A lion can't stay in a cage. A lion has to be on the pitch.

Only if we realise how sh*t we were at Blackburn can we improve.

We need to have lectures about why we can't have every day things like mayonnaise, ketchup and Coke.

I wanted to show them I will never give up. We have to keep together. I still believe in myself. I will never change. The players need to release the rubbish from their brains.

The shopping is not finished and before the pre-season starts I would like to bring in another two players. I like shopping, maybe I have become a woman.

Let's be honest. We're not Manchester United or Arsenal, are we?

David James is a cretin.

Intellect is the virtue of ignoring one’s emotions’ attempt to contaminate one’s opinions.

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap.

Drugging out symptoms does not solve the problem, it helps us ignore it - until the vehicle breaks down.

A major league pitching coach is a really difficult job. It takes a big commitment in terms of time, travel and workload.

Women have to be the biggest champions in the world of other women's choices.

I am in the poison gas business. Advertising should make you choke, make your eyes water, make you feel sick.

I don't like to be in the forest. It's a weird thing. I've learned to have a general appreciation for nature, which has taken a while. But the forest, I still don't really love.

It was from out the rind of one apple tasted, that the knowledge of good and evil, as two twins cleaving together, leaped forth into the world.

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

I always say neediness is the cause of suffering. I'm not the only one who says it. It's something I adopted and I believe.