I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

The greater the gap between self perception and reality, the more aggression is unleashed on those who point out the discrepancy.

...to know an other's interior life you are his confessor or a writer - the one is admitted freely, the other intrudes by discerning of spirits

There is nothing like a train journey for reflection.

Employment is the surest antidote to sorrow.

Few men can afford to be angry.

We cannot bank our hopes on possibilities. We must put our trust in ourselves, in our capabilities and efforts and strength and preparations not only for our success but even to avoid our own defeat.

The damaged love the damaged. True fact.

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

I liked Evel Knievel, and that game Mouse Trap. That was pretty cool.

Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.