I am a sinner, and I consider myself very fortunate to suffer something for the name of Jesus Christ.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

While a kind man was working up the nerve to ask me on a date, I was working up the nerve to kill him with my bare hands

When you decide to follow a certain path, you should follow it to the end and not be diverted from it for personal reasons.

We live in a very litigious society. I've never sued anybody. I certainly can imagine a situation where I might sue, but it seems more or less in bad taste.

Imitation is always insult--not flattery.

Mimes were invented to give magicians someone to look down on.

You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.

A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there." And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up.

Betsy. The great war is on but I hope ours is over. Please come home. Joe.

We are trying to reinvigorate our stagnant energy sector, to create avenues for new wealth. Clean energy innovation, job creation and energy independence should be common ground for all Americans.