I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star!

I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.

We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more realistic portrayal of what happens in startups.

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption.

Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.

The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even yourself.

I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue.

I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up.

It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s.

I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it.

Time moved for you not in quotidian beats, but in the slow rhythm the ages keep –

Every family is a family of alligators.

Everyone knows that a man can marry even if he reaches the age of 102, is penniless, and has all his facilities gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him.

The outstanding event was the doing which I am still at. Don't pickle me awayas done.

Approval or blame will follow in the world to come.

Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short.

Our strategy was to give Judge Hoffman a heart attack. We gave the court system a heart attack, which is even better.

You think it's all written, but it's not. There's always another way to twist those three chords around.

Atheism has no room for human rights.

The rules of the game are what we call the laws of nature.