I am already so popular that anyone who vilifies me becomes more popular than I am.

The streets of Vienna are paved with culture, the streets of other cities with asphalt.

Someone who can write aphorisms should not fritter away his time in essays.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up.

The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Newspapers have roughly the same relationship to life as fortune-tellers to metaphysics.

Christianity has enriched the erotic meal with the appetizer of curiosity and spoiled it with the dessert of remorse.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even.

The Bible provocatively evokes desire.

I always lose the election in the polls, and I always win it on election day.

In Latin America, even atheists are Catholics.

We all got up to dance. Oh, but we never got the chance!

It is in the expectations of happiness that much of happiness itself is found. And it takes courage to expect happiness.

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave.

"When are we going to get going?" Chris says. "What's your hurry?" I ask. "I just want to get going." "There's nothing up ahead that's any better than it is right here."

It is not great wealth in a few individuals that proves a country is prosperous, but great general wealth evenly distributed among the people. . .