I am an atheist (or at best a Unitarian who winds up in church quite a lot).

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Laws forbidding adoptees from accessing their original birth certificates are outdated and need to be changed today.

If I smashed the traditions it was because I knew no traditions.

Do not let your peace depend on the hearts of men whatever they say about you good or bad you are not because of it another man for as you are you are.

There are people who just can't handle life because they've thrown away too much of their reason.

What we do belongs to what we are; and what we are is what becomes of us.

Nissan is recalling almost 135,000 Infiniti G35s to address an airbag problem. When Toyota heard that, they said, 'Airbags! I knew we forgot something.'

I think that's okay and that is part of growing up and that is good, to learn that the world isn't always your oyster or isn't everybody's oyster.

Travelers perceptions do not always reflect the reality of a situation, and ignorance is costing the industry billions.

Clay is one of the best things you can put in your body.

Well, I think if more people had more applause, it would make them feel better. I often give my wife a round of applause. If the meal is very good I give her a standing ovation.