I am conversational - I just like to engage and talk about things.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.

I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.

I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

I grew up thinking that if I wanted to go be prime minister, I could.

I always like to think I'm having a dinner party, and I'm the host, and the audience are my guests.

Learn to appreciate the things you have in the life you're living. It is your present.

Radical changes in world politics leave America with a heightened responsibility to be, for the world, an example of a genuinely free, democratic, just and humane society.

[from a reader] Whenever I feel myself resenting someone, I reach out. I have made good friends that way.

...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.

We cannot restore traditional American freedom unless we limit the government's power to tax.

I listen to Mark Chestnutt and think he's a great singer - and he really does good material.

Brains are not magical; they are causal machines.

Taking smart risks can be very gratifying.

If there is something that opens horizons, it is precisely ignorance.

We cannot at once catch the applauses of the vulgar and expect the approbation of the wise.