I am descended from a very long line my mother once foolishly listened to.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

A lot of the conflict you have in your life exists simply because you're not living in alignment

Comfort is not a goal that I seek, rather it is a place that I hide.

There is in the end no remedy but truth. It is the one course that cannot be evil.

I want people to see their own power.

Life is a near-death experience.

Youth is unduly busy with pampering the outer person.

Tell me anything. Tell me everything. Revoke our time apart. Love me fierce in danger.

The serial arsonist is the most difficult to apprehend because the evidence is burned up.

Having a body is in itself the greatest threat to the mind... The body encloses the mind in a fortress; before long the mind is besieged on all sides, and in the end the mind has to give itself up.

It is a much cleverer thing to talk nonsense than to listen to it.