I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

This is not an easy time in which to live. That does not mean that it has to be a difficult time to love...

The key to your success or failure lies in your daily habits.

Things could not have been brought into being by God in any manner or in any order different from that which has in fact obtained.

To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.

I know the human spirit. I haven't found a wall that can be built that a determined human being can't get over, under or around.

If you're constantly hamstrung by worry that people aren't going to like it, you can't do your job.

I had no plans to be a director.

Pack is built on the bonds of family, of mating, of love. You come first. You always will.

You gain converts by winning at something the existing provider didn't think was so important.

The great social adventure of America is no longer the conquest of the wilderness but the absorption of fifty different peoples.