I am funny. No one else thinks I am funny. But I am funny.

If I am going to get in a cab to go home, and I see a sign for an open house, I will go in. I like real estate because I am the boss.

I am the boss of me. You can't change anyone else. Women think they can. But you know what? You can't.

I was so busy fighting and so busy trying to keep everything above water that I didn't realize I was spiraling downward with nowhere to go.

I have no problem with women in the military, if that's what they want to do.

I learned nothing while I was in school.

Sometimes there's one person in the audience laughing hysterically, and it's so much fun. You end up playing the entire play to them.

My family was blue collar, a middle-class kind of thing. My father was born in Detroit, Italian-American. My mother is English. She acted on the stage with Diana Dors. Her parents were French.

The truth in acting is that we are all hired help. We are a commodity. There is no difference between being an actor and pork bellies.

I don't think I am narcissistic. I think I have low self-esteem.

It's hard to keep a play alive moment-to-moment, you know? But there's another part of it that I really love, which is that you never know.

No star fades faster than that of a high school athlete.

Caution is the eldest child of wisdom.

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.

A woman gains status when she refuses to see anything killed to be put on her back. Then she’s truly beautiful.

The two world wars boosted American power and devastated potential rivals to an extent that could not have lasted more than a few decades.

A flippant, frivolous man may ridicule others, may controvert them, scorn them; but he who has any respect for himself seems to have renounced the right of thinking meanly of others.

I would be jokesmithing. I had files with tons of disses that I would try to write as I was on the train going to school.

Tenacity isn't just the most important thing, it's the only thing.

I have been to Iraq on a number of occasions. I was with the first group that went in.

My bazooka is locked, cocked, and ready to unload.