I am good in bed - I don't snore. I don't take the duvet. I just lay there and go straight off to sleep. That's all you want out of a bloke.

I'm a cup of tea in a world of lattes.

The truth is, I've been lucky. But just like the waltz, life has its own rhythm of rise and fall.

The thing with children is they're a bit like baking a fruitcake: you throw all the ingredients in but you never know how they're going to turn out.

Your money is like your willy, it only grows if you play with it

I always think of a show like a plant - a little pruning now and then keeps it healthy, but you shouldn't pull it out and chop the roots up.

You got to risk it if you want the biscuit.

It's never too early to panic.

I won't eat anything I can't spell or wouldn't tread in.

I really hate airport queues. I almost feel they should have cattle prods to hurry us up down the aisles. You can't even complain because they might stop you getting on to the flight.

I'm a technophobe. I can't crack the iPhone, and the extent of my multitasking is being able to talk while I make a drink.

It is better to be a marble in a hut than a brick in a palace.

Remember: worry, fear, and negative thoughts produce a yield from those thoughts that have to be inevitably reaped after they have been sown!

Oh threats of Hell and Hopes of Par

Daily life.The sacred time of man on earth.

No evil is without its compensation ... it is not the loss itself but the estimate of the loss that troubles us.

The Obama foreign policy, in broad strokes, has been a disaster.

I'm just doing what I wanted to and what feels right and not settling for bullshit and it worked. How can they be mad at that?

You can say anything to David Icke and he will accept it and put it into his ideology.

Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline.

Yes, I very much like to have a personal stake in what I’m writing about.